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May 12, 2008

By Stephanie Houseman, DMD

I find that one of the greatest obstacles blocking our path to success is the attention we pay to those voices in our head. You've heard them; they are the ones that tell us we're not good enough, that we'll never have the practice of our dreams, that we'll never find the man of our dreams, and that we'll never be able to lose weight. The list is endless. We struggle with those voices day after day. There is a tug of war going on between our critic and our champion, and the critic usually wins.

Sadly, we believe what the critic tells us to be true. "We become what we think about," said Napoleon Hill. If you're thinking you are not good enough, then you will not be good enough, in whatever you do. If you're thinking you are stuck in a dead-end practice with improvement not within your reach, you will never have the practice of your dreams. On the other hand, when you think positive, empowering, uplifting thoughts, your path to success becomes more doable. It's amazing what a pep talk to yourself can do to catapult you on your way to living a fulfilling life.

It's time to quiet those voices (also known as our limiting beliefs) which play havoc with your mindset. For most people, though, that's easier said than done. This month's column will give you a step-by-step process to help you quiet those voices and replace them with voices that will carry you to success.

Step 1: Acknowledge the limiting beliefs you are telling yourself. Write them down.

Step 2: Since these beliefs usually stem from your childhood, take each belief and beside it, write down your earliest memory of this belief. Who told you "you're not good enough"? (We'll use this voice in our example.) What were the circumstances surrounding this voice?

Step 3: From this one early memory, write down all the other times you have felt "not good enough" in your life, at least the major ones. How and when was this message reinforced?

Step 4: Since you believe this statement to be true, now explore the meaning you created about yourself based on this belief. If you're not good enough, then perhaps you think you are dumb, or patients will go to the dentist down the street because they know she is better than you, or that you are resigned to live a life of mediocrity. The best could never be yours.

Step 5: Write down how this belief shows up in your actions and your life. For example, if you believe you're not good enough, then have you stopped taking CE because "what difference will it make," or do you run from difficult tasks or treatment plans, or do you shy away from meeting new people because you'll never measure up to them? What have you NOT done in the past and continue NOT to do because of this belief?

Step 6: Now challenge these beliefs. Is it really TRUE that you are not good enough? Reevaluate this belief. I'd even go so far as to write down times in your life when you have been good enough. There are some and you know it. (Don't forget that you graduated from dental school — that is a huge accomplishment.) You're so used to listening to that negative voice that you forget to tune into the positive voice.

Step 7: The truth is that you have allowed yourself to listen to this critical voice and believed it to be true for most of your life. You would not wear a pair of shoes that were two sizes too small (and crimping your style), so why would you wear a belief that does not fit you?

Step 8: The next time you hear that voice, acknowledge it, then kick that pair of shoes off and say, "That voice just does not fit me anymore."

Step 9: Replace it with one that does fit and one that empowers you. "I am good enough to have the life that I want, and it is happening today."

Sounds like an easy process, doesn't it? Unfortunately, it is not. It will take time and commitment to undo the critical beliefs you've listened to most of your life, and you will back paddle. Do not get discouraged. It is important to remember that you have a choice as to which voice you listen to. It is within your power to choose the voice that will empower you to lead your fulfilling life.

When you change the words you tell yourself and ditch the critic for the champion, you can change your life. Try the new voice on for size. You won't be disappointed.

© 2008 Stephanie Houseman, DMD

P.S. Ask Dr. Houseman a question at drszh@7steps2abalancedlife.com.

Stephanie Houseman, DMD, practiced dentistry in St. Louis for 25 years. She is married to a dentist, has two grown children, and understands all too well the demands we place on ourselves.? She now works with dentists who want to simplify their lives so that they can enjoy ?themselves again. She is a graduate of the Coaches Training Institute, creator of the 7 Steps 2 A Balanced Life Program™, and author of "The Balance Beam," a weekly e-newsletter about balance and life.? Reach Dr. Houseman at www.7steps2abalancedlife.com or (618) 639-5433.

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